During the last several weeks, I have had an insurmountable amount of time to reflect on people, events, things past, and things yet to come, but especially my here and now. I wasn’t sure if I was ready, or if I even wanted to return home yesterday; however, when we drove into the garage, unpacked the Jeep, and we were standing in the center of our home, I felt a peace within my being that had been absent for far too long. There was also a familiarity that had returned, an aching to revisit the very essence of my persona. I went to bed with resolve, and for the first time in months, I slept through the night, undisturbed.
Yes, there are the mundane day-to-day responsibilities that must be revisited. The taxes are due and the yard must be tended to. The grass, still brown from winter’s neglect when we left South Carolina to return to Florida to lay Mamma to rest next to “the handsome young man from Alva” she met in Miami, Florida and eloped with, is green again, but the grass is in need of mowing and could use a drink of water. Although the landscaped beds are overgrown with weeds, the rose bushes are full of blooms, signs of new life.
New life, both outside in the yard, and inside, within my being. I had gotten lost in the tyranny of life for many different reasons – reasons that had me turn away from the very thing that I needed to be fully engaged in. I had stopped writing, and in doing so, I was running away from everything that would offer me new life, but I am home now, and today, life begins anew.